Getting my sweat on in the Hamam

I was feeling pretty shoddy, the dodge food had got to me and I had only myself to blame. If you cause a problem fix it so I self medicated with half a pack of Imodium, and a grande pot of yoghurt. Im not a doctor, but my brother almost is, which still counts and I figured if I ate enough good bacteria it would out compete the bad.

I was only in Istanbul for a few days and I didn't want to waste time, illness or not, so I took an late night trip to a Turkish bath. I wanted to get the whole deal, the fat man soaping me up and scrubbing me down, but I couldn't afford it, so in the end I gave myself a rub down. Sounds seedy? Its not.

The Turkish bath we went too, had been built in the 15th century but it was in immaculate condition, the Americans and I went together and we didn't really know what to do. Its like a Sauna and a steam room in one. (An historical aside, supposedly the Ottomans Jannersairies that famous warrior order took refuge in the baths hot pipe rooms when the order was dissolved). Its so hot too, I lay down on a slap of marble, on my back first, I tried my front but I thought I would singe my nipples. I started sweating grime out, Its horrible, Im very grubby and within minutes a muddy, black slime was peeling of and from in my skin. Yuck.

I went for a cool down and washed off in one of the alcoves, I watched one of the turks give another a massage. It looks vigorous, too vigorous. Im sure there is skill in it, but it looked like he was tenderising meat. Some of them can stay in these for a couple of hours, getting soaped up and scrubbed down, beaten by fists and elbows, we lasted forty minutes, I did say it is very hot, besides I had food poisoning. I took a shower, it had a normal shower head and an extra, a crotch washer which believe me, came as a lively surprise. Afterwards, I felt high, the heat had got to me as had the nausea. So on the advice of the Americans I had a pomegranate Juice, then I was sick.